No travel plans? Fret not: there’s plenty to do near home this Memorial Day Weekend.

Bust out your chacha heels—Carnaval returns to the Mission. The weekend’s biggest event draws margarita-swilling hordes for a two-day-long festival, one of SF’s kickinest street parties (never mind the junkies in the doorways). Arrive early to stake a spot for Sunday’s parade, when dance troupes twirl and kick in feathers, sequins and spangles worthy of a proper drag queen. Ride BART or lose your mind trying to park.

Find comfort in Johannes Brahms’ lush chords. I’ll be performing Brahms’ German Requiem—one of the great choral-orchestral works of the German Romantics—under the baton of Michael Tilson Thomas, at the San Francisco Symphony. This is music to comfort the living, an inward journey, the polar opposite of Carnaval. Great tickets available Saturday.

Art freaks and drag fetishists: If you lament the loss of SF’s underground experimental-art scene, take heart. Rumi Missabu, of legendary Cockettes fame, is staging one of her tripped-out, avant-garde salons Saturday night, reminiscent of the vintage-1970s acid-soaked midnight shows at the Palace Theatre. Men: Wear an ugly dress if you don’t want to stand out. Conservatives: Stay far, far away.

Tired of your mall-fashion wardrobe? Give yourself a makeover at the Capsule Design Festival, on Sunday in Hayes Valley. Billed as Northern California’s largest festival of independent designers, it’s essentially a street fair for fashionistas, with some of the West Coast’s coolest up-and-coming couturiers.

Dust off the barbecue. If your grilling skills aren’t what they should be, head to Napa for a day-long seminar on Mastering the Grill, at Copia. If you can’t bear to drop $275, let me help you learn how to grill properly—for free.

Beach bonfires are a tradition the first weekend of summer, but the NPS changed the rules for fires at Ocean Beach. Now you’re confined to the fire rings between Fulton and Lincoln. Arrive before sunset to snag one—and hide your beers; alcohol isn’t allowed. The southernmost ring, designed by Burners Without Borders, a Burning Man art collective, is a venerable objet d’art. (If you’re a patron of the arts, consider a donation to this fabulous group.)

Peer into backyard gardens on a stairway walk down (not up) the old, wooden Filbert Street Steps. Keep an eye—and an ear—out for the wild parrots of Telegraph Hill. Begin in the bushes immediately southeast of Coit Tower. For more, pick up the definitive guide to stairway walks in SF, or check out an online sampling by Mister SF.

If you live in the East Bay and can’t bear to cross the bridge, Berkeley will be hosting the Chocolate and Chalk Art Festival. Ooh and ahh at the creation of ephemeral artwork by dozens of artists while you sample sweets by local chocolatiers. (NB: The festival is now held on North Shattuck Avenue, not Solano Avenue.)

Looking to celebrate the old-fashioned way? Unfurl your American flag and head straight to Monday’s Parade at the Presidio. Your VFW granddad would be proud.

Ed note: We mistakenly reported that Opera in the Park would be happening in Dolores Park on Sunday. We regret the error. If you didn’t see this correction before leaving for the show, we hope you had a lovely picnic in the park just the same. —JV

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